Protesters say a plot to force Jeff Bezos’ wedding to relocate from any of Venice’s famous landmarks onto a yacht is all going according to plan.
“Bezos and all his entitled, rich friends responsible for rising sea levels that threaten cities like ours more every day have no business taking over Venice’s most beloved landmarks,” said protester Guilia Ventimiglia. “Also, let’s just say some friends of ours said one day they may ask a favor of us and that fateful day finally has come.”
One of the friends that hailed from Sicily, who wished not to be named, said they were looking forward to also rocking Bezos’ boat their own way this week.
“We’ve got a little pod, I mean, party just happening to head over here this the week of Don Bezos’ yacht wedding and thought it might be fun to crash,” said the friend. “We don’t have any wedding gifts on-fin, but we do have a Prime offer Bezos can’t refuse: a contest to see who sleeps with the fishes better, him or us – no cheating using Lauren’s implants as floaties!”
At press time, sources said the protesters’ seafaring friends planned to ultimately leave the yacht sinking, take the Kardashian.
