In a long-awaited win for followers of Robert F. Kennedy Jr., today the U.S. Health Secretary announced the FDA has officially banned unleaded baby formula.
“Modern American babies have become soft, barely able to hold their own head up high because the quacks at the FDA have been withholding the nutritious lead our children desperately crave,” said RFK Jr. “That’s why I’ve made the decision to ban unleaded baby formula and only produce leaded varieties to make sure that our babies are getting the healthy minerals they need to grow, thrive, and get old enough to work in sweatshops. The best one of course is colloidal silver-leaded baby fuel fortified with 100% authentic paint chips and essential snake oils, which you can buy from Dr. Oz’s website or your local gas station today.”
Project 2025 architect Russel Vought had long advocated for the return of lead to the American diet.
“The best way to ensure the next generation of Republican voters is to guarantee that American newborns get their daily allotment of lead in their baby formula,” said Vought. “We banned lead in paint in the 70s and within a generation we were overrun with transgender superathletes dominating the 5th place standings in track and field.”
RFK Jr. later announced plans to begin drafting an army of wet nurses to fuel high-T super soldiers with organic breast milk for the coming war against vaccine zombies.
