Today a Norwegian hot dog served in a dry tortilla to a transplant who’d never had one before kindly begged to be put all the way out of its misery as soon as possible.
“Oof da! Looks like you took a bite of me and think I tasted as shitty as you expected me to on sight, ja?” said the reportedly popular Norwegian snack at Ballard’s 17th of May Parade. “Could you please still wipe me completely out of existence? Life was harsh enough in this thin, cold lefse I barely fit into with no toppings and now I’m just kind of sitting here partially eaten. Finish me, vær så snill!”
Out of courtesy, the transplant obliged.
“It just looked so sad—I had to,” the transplant said after reluctantly eating the rest of it. “I don’t know if being eaten alive while a middle school marching band plays Seven Nation Army is death with dignity, but he is currently out of his misery, mingling in the heaven that is my intestines now with a much better meal from Thai Thani.”
At press time, a local Seattle Dog was reportedly also begging a transplant for sweet, swift deliverance.
