Seattle residents were treated to a heartwarming gesture of civic unity today after city officials spelled the Mayor Bruce Harrell’s slogan “One Seattle” out of the seized belongings from homeless encampments police swept with zero notice last week.
“We wanted to send a message of unity, to express that every person in Seattle is valued and that we’re in this together—so we kicked out all the homeless, took all the tents and blankets we confiscated and turned it into something that everyone in Seattle could enjoy: a PR photo we can put on the front page of The Seattle Times,” said Seattle city spokesperson Barbara Randall. “Besides, why should the police department get to have all the fun with their little civil forfeiture dioramas? Granted it’s mostly just Punisher skull logos made out of wrinkled dollar bills, but occasionally you get a big Q made out of weed.”
The temporary art installation was a hit with local news programs and cozy onlookers watching from the warmth and comfort of their single-family zoned homes.
“It’s nice to see the city finally being proactive about making the kind of expensive, cruel gestures that homeowners need to feel welcome again in our city,” said homeowner Craig Blanchard. “Now that we don’t have to avert our eyes from any icky public human suffering, we can safely turn our attention to something that really matters: making sure homeless people aren’t breaking into those empty tiny homes just sitting in a lot in SoDo.”
Former KOMO reporter Jonathon Choe was later seen desperately chasing after a garbage truck on foot after learning that a couple of tents he hadn’t taken pictures of yet were inside.
