The Blue Angels pilots’ attempt to unwind with a game of oiled-up beach volleyball was the source of controversy today after Denny Blaine residents texted Mayor Harrell to complain about the sizzling scene.
“Brucey, it’s Stu—you have to do something this time, those hotshot pilots are out there playing oiled up beach volleyball again! I’m being blinded by the sun reflecting off their glistening abs!” texted U Village owner Stuart Sloan, photographing the scorching athletic display from his mansion. “The beach is no place for greased up hunks playing shirtless volleyball, it’s disgusting! Don’t worry, I’ve been photographing them and recording them for hours so I have plenty of evidence.”
The pilots were reportedly struggling to enjoy their traditional post-flight volleyball game after noticing the strange man watching them.
“We’re trying to enjoy the beach but there’s this creepy guy with a telephoto lens that keeps taking photos of us,” said Blue Angels pilot Paul Clark, who goes by the codename Stallion. “Oiled up beach volleyball is an Air Force tradition that goes back decades, and I’ll be damned if I can’t get greased up with the boys and bump balls together. To try to trample on that right, well, it’s downright un-American!”
Mayor Harrell reportedly responded with a text hours later stating, “Beef Stu, it’s Mayor B—if you are disgusted I totally share your disgust” before unpausing Top Gun: Maverick.
