Achieving what was once thought impossible after years of countless walks there together, today one local pioneering couple discovered yet another way to get lost at Discovery Park.
“Up until today, experts were absolutely sure there were only 246 different ways to get stuck wandering the park so long your loved ones call in a Missing Persons report,” said Jenny Hemming as she smiled at her husband Michael Hemming. “We certainly didn’t think there were more than that after five years of walking here every week. But then we found some little dirt path that went to a cool staircase, then a beach boardwalk, then a lighthouse, then a surprisingly informative little West Point Treatment Plant tour, and then a patch of berries and nettles we cried in and foraged off of for three days before we were rescued.”
Asked what kind of navigation tools they brought to the table to find so much new territory to get completely stranded in, the exploring duo said it’s all about instincts.
“You gotta get off the beaten path and just follow your heart sometimes,” said Michael, staring off into the sunset. “It also helps if you’re always wrong yet somehow always overconfident about your sense of direction, especially if you tend to get really pissy whenever anyone ever calls you out on it.”
At press time, the ambitious couple said they believe they probably have what it takes to find even more completely new ways to get lost not only in Discovery Park, but the Arboretum and Seattle Central Library.
