Today a local holiday family gathering was completely upended when a film fanatic cousin couldn’t stop telling everyone where all the Easter eggs were.
“You know, I put a lot of hard work into hiding these Starbucks Easter eggs everywhere today and looking forward to seeing my children figure out where they all are just like I did on my 5th watch of Fight Club, but noooo, Cousin Chris just couldn’t let that happen,” said local father Aaron Twitchell. “Like, give my kids some credit: They can totally spot the Alfred Hitchcock Easter eggs by the birdhouse all on their own. Same goes for the Martin Scorsese and Quentin Tarantino Easter eggs.”
The cousin’s obsession with showing everyone where the Easter eggs are caused tension beyond today’s Easter egg hunt as well.
“He wouldn’t even shut up when I gave my mother-in-law an easter egg basket full of oranges. Little shit even sat her down and made her watch the Godfather trilogy to get it,” said Twitchell. “To return the favor, I hope a fan of The Departed like him will appreciate me writing X’s on all the eggs in his basket.”
By press time, the only Easter egg the children were able to find on their own was Toy Story-themed one with a pattern of The Shining’s hotel carpet inside.
