Boeing came under fire once again today after it was revealed that a baby was poked in the eye by a faulty Boeing 737 Spoon Airplane that the company had manufactured.
“I was bringing the spoon airplane in for a landing in my baby’s mouth when suddenly a piece of the fuselage came off and it careened off course right into his eye!” said local parent and spoon airplane pilot Melissa Garland, comforting her son, Tommy. “When I inspected the wreckage, the airplane was basically being held together by Play-Doh and imagination. Thankfully the spoon airplane’s cargo was just applesauce so his eye will be okay, but this could have been much more serious if we had switched to solid foods.”
A series of Boeing spoon airplane malfunctions have been reported across the country, leaving many to wonder if it was safe to continue relying on the aerospace giant.
“‘Here comes the airplane’ used to be one of the safest methods of baby food transportation, but due to decades of deregulation and corporate leadership cutting safety measures for profit, Boeing spoon airplanes are practically disintegrating in parents’ hands,” said aviation expert Bart Clausen. “Personally, I would never feed my kids with a Boeing spoon airplane and I wouldn’t be surprised if others sought out alternative modes of food transportation—although with this country’s infrastructure don’t be surprised if ‘here comes the choo-choo train’ derails onto the family cat.”
Adding to the controversy was the revelation that a Teddy Bear nanny cam that was set to testify against Boeing about the incident was mysteriously found outside a local motel with all his fluff torn out.
