After years of displaying the hand-painted tagline “Proudly All Boeing” on the sides of its planes, today Alaska Airlines announced it would be retiring the phrase and replacing it with “Oops! All Boeings.”
“So, it would be kind of weird to keep being ‘Proudly All Boeing’ after a giant hole ripped open in the side of one of our planes mid-flight earlier this month, right? Totally!” said Alaska CEO and corporate Nathan Fielder doppelganger Ben Minicucci. “We immediately got to work on a new slogan to replace it, which was difficult because at first we couldn’t think of anything better than ‘Proudly All One of Two Monopolistic Options We Have in Commercial Airplane Manufacturing Because the Application of Anti-Trust Law Is Freakishly Inconsistent, Like WTF?’ but it didn’t really fit that well on there. Then we were scrolling memes and were like, omg, duh – ‘Oops! All Boeings.’ How fun!”
By this morning, all Alaska jets had been scrubbed of the old slogan on the exterior of the cockpit and painted over with the new, fun, upbeat and honest take on the company’s fleet.
“’Oops! All Boeings’ isn’t just a tagline – it’s a commitment. Because, believe me, Airbus isn’t that much better if at all. We ain’t changing shit around here,” Minicucci said. “If you want real safety, buy your own private jet, motherfuckers—capiche?”
To celebrate the slogan update with loyal Alaska customers, Minicucci said that, for a limited time, they’ll all be receiving handy flight safety promotional gift bags labeled “Oops! All Bolts.”
