After the local LGBTQ+ community came out strong against a city proposal to build a new children’s playground at a longtime gay nude beach, today Seattle Parks announced it wanted to apologize for not seeking community feedback from them first by building an adult playground there instead.
“Omg, we totally didn’t think about how building a children’s playground at the Denny Blaine Park gay nude beach would set up a perfect situation for homophobic, conservative media to perpetuate the inaccurate perception of gay people as child groomers,” said Seattle Parks Superintendent AP Diaz. “The private donor who proposed this half-million-dollar playground especially didn’t think about that at all, so I’m sure he’ll be absolutely fine with us converting the proposal into an adult playground instead.”
Plans for the adult playground already include spending the bulk of the funds on buying the iconic plexiglass sign from Issaquah’s recently closed Triple XXX Rootbeer Drive-in.
“There’s a lot of other more convenient and safe places for a children’s playground , but there’s also enough of them—why doesn’t anyone think of adults’ need for play?” said gay nude beach regular Benny Jett. “Won’t someone think of the adults?”
At press time, the contract for the adult playground’s design had already been won by Bobby Berk who said he’s excited to shift from doing Queer Eye’s overnight makeovers to Seattle’s eternal design review process.
