After the last real Apple Cup game the Huskies and Cougars played against each other as longtime Pac-12 rivals today, it’s being widely reported that WSU’s entire existence has already been immediately forgotten.
“I have some vague memory of some shitty team coming terrifyingly close to destroying our completely undefeated record this year, but I can’t remember who …” said University of Washington student Jason Moore with a confused look on his face as he shivered in clothes that were soaked in beer for some reason. “Oh, there’s some guys wearing red over there with cats on their hats—Wildcats! So we just beat the Arizona Wildcats with some updated uniforms? I thought we already played them last month but whatever—go Dawgs!”
When asked how they felt about now being only one of two teams left in the Pac-12, one young man dressed in white and dark red had no idea what reporters were talking about.
“Huh—what college? You mean the University of Idaho? That’s the closest one to where I live in Pullman,” said Bryan Packer between shot-gunning cans of Busch Lite in the parking lot while trying to remember why he was in Seattle in the first place. “I do have some fuzzy memory of losing something over and over again, but then still claiming we were the better team, but I don’t know why. Dude, why is my car trunk full of giant cans of cheese?”
At press time, sports and academic experts studying society’s sudden inability to remember WSU exists said there’s a dangerous chance the same will happen next year to the entire Pac-12 conference and UW as it enters the Big Ten without Michael Penix Jr.
