After recent debates over a car-free Pike Place Market highlighted how essential parking actually is on the small, one-way bricked street thronged with pedestrians, today the Market’s development authority said it was thrilled to announce they’ve now added parking inside the market as well.
“Starting this weekend, car bumpers will not only be thoughtfully shoving customers off of the road into the market, but also off the market walkways straight into small business merchant’s faces,” said Sally Galloway, President of the Pike Place Market Preservation and Development Authority. “Because this completely eliminates any escape from not only eye contact but also full-body contact with each and every merchant as they pass by, every person who enters the market will at minimum have to buy a bouquet, lavender eye sash, Chukar Cherry gift set if they ever again want to see the light of day.”
In addition to giving small businesses a boost, more spaces will allow for even more tourists who drive into Pike Place to be trapped there for an eternity.
“Everyone knows the economic backbone of this market are families who came here for a vacation and ended up having to live here in their cars here forever,” Galloway said. “I can’t wait to have more families like the Ericksons who’ve been here ever since they drove over from Minnesota back in 2016. Pike Place Market is all about community, and this community is all about pedestrians hating cars almost running down toddlers every day, and tourists in cars just loving that someone allowed them to unknowingly make the choice to be trapped here until the end of time. It’s what makes Pike Place Market special.”
At press time, the additional driving and parking space added today unfortunately and accidentally created enough space for a family minivan of out-of-state tourists to escape the Market via Virginia Street for the first time in more than a decade.
