Trouble in paradise is brewing for Jeff Bezos today after he made the controversial decision to leave his fiancée, Lauren Sanchez, at home when he was only able to score one ticket to see Taylor Swift at Lumen Field tonight.
“Demand for Taylor Swift’s ‘The Eras Tour’ is so scorching hot that not even the world’s second richest man can find a second ticket, and our sources say that Bezos’ decision to leave his beau at home has made Sanchez say ‘boo hoo’,” said TMZ reporter Antoine Chamblis, serving the scorching tea. “Will this Swift betrayal signal the end for these two? Or will Bezos just end their rift by buying Ticketmaster for his boo?”
But an interview with the Amazon founder revealed that—despite having more money than God—he wasn’t able to pry a ticket away from Seattle’s rabid fanbase for the two-day Swiftaganza.
“I tried buying a ticket on the secondhand market, but have you tried parting a Swiftie with their Eras tickets? I’ve got entire supply chains under my thumb and even I can’t get a second seat in the nosebleeds,” said Bezos, gluing sequins to a denim jacket. “Sorry babe, it’s a Cruel Summer, but we know who the real Swiftie is in this relationship—I’ll make sure to bring you back a t-shirt.”
Bezos was later seen shrieking in the audience holding a sign that said “Jeff <3 Taylor, I wanna be your next PR disaster!”
