In a frightened, last-ditch effort to surprise his mommy with the perfect Mother’s Day gift, local 36-year-old man and State Farm agent Zeke Gibson presented his mother with a treasure trove of finger paintings on her special day.
“I did them ‘specially for you mama!” Zeke boasted to Susan, a 67-year-old retired optometrist as she rifled through the still-wet folder of paintings from her grown-ass son with a beard, mortgage, and several ergonomic chairs for his sciatica. “There’s one of a choo-choo, a rainbow, the bestest dog ever, Benji (1992-2003, RIP), my first day of school, my last day of school, my first STI, us holding hands on a roller coaster, us screaming at each other in a CVS because you denied telling me ‘quitters are losers’ when I wanted to stop playing 3rd grade soccer even though you totally said that. All our best memories!”
When asked how his art piece came about, Zeke struggled to further elaborate on how he landed on such a thoughtful and intelligent gift.
“I mean, what do moms even like? Chocolate? Candles? Spatula?” Zeke said, despite being present for roughly 1,400 hints dropped since October that she wanted a bonsai tree. “I spent several hours on a very introspective macaroni piece, but I ultimately found it to be rather gauche and meretricious.”
At press time, Susan was seen joyously pouring over the paintings from Zeke while noting to her daughter, Zoe—who gifted her a bonsai tree, spa day, and $300 gift card to her favorite restaurant—”look how thoughtful your brother was!”
