As conditions in Amazon facilities continue to come under fire, Jeff Bezos’ personal dog walker has stepped forward to reveal that he’s also forced to quickly pee on fire hydrants during walks.
“I know I shouldn’t complain—I have it better than the warehouse guys, but I’m also only allowed to quickly pee when the dog does and it’s definitely a unique challenge,” said professional dog walker Harry Fleming, quickly zipping up his pants and hoping no one noticed. “I mean, how am I supposed to go to the bathroom when Petunia only stops for five-seconds to pee on a bush every ten feet? She’s a great dog, but a total princess—like literally: She’s the first born pup of Wishbone and one of Queen Elizabeth’s Corgis.”
But as the interview continued, Fleming revealed that his pee problems were just the beginning.
“Not only am I required to be on my feet the entire shift walking upwards of 12 miles per day, I have these insane dog quotas I’m supposed to hit along the way,” said Fleming. “Princess Petunia must sniff 205 other dogs during the walk? 30 people must stop and ask to pet Princess Petunia every hour? If my route doesn’t take me near a dog-friendly brewery I’m totally screwed.”
A representative for Bezos later pushed back on the allegations, claiming that his fleet of dog walkers were well compensated and even got free treats from the Seattle Dog Barkery on Fridays.
