After struggling with ratings over the past decade, producers for the 2023 Oscars decided to experiment with a new “multiverse stream” format in which one timeline culminated with Will Smith slapping Chris Rock with hot dog fingers.
“If ‘The Slap’ proved anything, it’s that we desperately needed to shake things up around here—and while we don’t condone violence, you have to admit it’s a real treat watching Will Smith’s big ol’ floppy glizzy fingers harmlessly glide across Chris Rock’s face,” said Oscars producer Glenn Weiss. “And then the way the two seemingly mortal enemies suddenly became a same-sex couple sensuously sucking each other’s hot-dog fingers? It was surprisingly sweet—and savory!”
But somehow the Will Smith-Chris Rock hot-dog finger romance did not turn out to be the biggest hit of the night.
“By far the most popular stream was the Raccacoonie universe, especially when the raccoon piloting The Daniels won its first Oscar for Everything Everywhere All At Once,” said showrunner Ricky Kirshner. “On the other hand, we might have made a mistake with the timeline where Bill Nighy and Colin Ferrell shoved Oscars up their asses to gain Kung Fu skills and battled for the Best Supporting Actor honors.”
Michelle Yeoh later gave a heartwarming speech while collecting her Best Actress Oscar despite struggling to heft the trophy with her own floppy hot dog fingers.
