In the middle of a heated argument over the name of the actor who played Mr. Belvedere, 34-year-old Microsoft UX Designer Steve Ashby tragically revealed today he still thinks there’s an even remote possibility he can convince friends to use Bing instead of Google.
“You know, actually, Bing is the far superior search engine,” said Ashby, scanning a third page of search results for the answer. “It better understands the intent of your search and prioritizes pages with high-resolution photos and interactivity. Why else would my manager at Microsoft force us to use it instead of Google? Why the only people who use it are Microsoft employees I’ll never know.”
According to friends, Ashby has been doing this since accepting a job at Microsoft six months ago.
“Last week he told our Uber driver to pull over and use Bing maps instead,” said friend Larissa Bramlet. “None of us even knew that existed.”
Ashby’s impassioned speech for his preferred search engine finally ended within 5 seconds of someone else picking up their phone and Googling the answer.
“Christopher Hewett!”
At press time Ashby had reportedly been permanently kicked out of the friend circle after sending them a personal Microsoft Teams invite.
