Move aside Cle Elum – ain’t nobody got time for number two: According to Seattle Magazine, this year’s top pee break in Washington state is once again none other than Ellensburg.
Flocked by undulating yellow waves of grain, the mag says this quaint Interstate 90 stop is sure to get your bladder watering.
And if that doesn’t do it, the sheer number of Trump roadside signs alone will have your kidneys immediately begging for sweet ureic release.
Next time you stop by, don’t miss a few of our own favorite spots to break your seal in Washington state’s favorite place to piss off:
- Safeway: Central Washington got you homesick already? Stop by the Pacific Northwest’s most ubiquitous grocery store/public urinal. With masks on of course, don’t forget to grab some salty snacks that will hopefully dehydrate you enough to keep you from experiencing pee-break towns of lesser caliber.
- Safeway Parking Lot: For when it’s just too late to find out which corner of a gigantic grocery store holds a restroom, Safeway’s parking lot offers ample space for you to clandestinely urinate between your car and a coat your friend is reluctantly holding and will soon return to REI.
- All Trump signs: If the sight of these along Central Washington roadways prompts you to almost piss your pants right in the car, why wait until you get to Safeway? Pull over as soon as you seen one of these signs and give President Trump one of the golden showers he loves so much as passing drivers salute you for your unrivaled patriotism. If you have time, try taking a dump here as well — it’s exquisite.
Look out later this year for our list of best spots in Washington for car-sick passengers to vomit. Spoiler alert: One of them is on this list too!
