Move over Bennifer: Several witnesses are reporting that what initially seemed at best a one-night stand or crazy weekend on the road between the Mariners and Winning is now officially a full-on steamy summer fling.
“More than two weeks together? Things are getting pretty serious,” said Needling lifestyle reporter Elle Sinclair. “What I’m hearing is that the Mariners caught Winning’s eye after Jesse Winker fought the entire LA Angels dugout defending their honor. Ever since then, this cute couple has been inseparable, while the Angels have been struggling to get into scoring position.”
While the Mariners and Winning will be temporarily separated during the All-Star Break, the relationship shows no sign of slowing down.
“Ever since that hot young heartthrob Julio Rodriguez came to town, the Mariners have been a whole new team, earning Winning’s undivided attention with a sizzling series of sweeps and walk-off wins,” said Sinclair. “No one knows what will happen after the break, but shacking up with a hot young All-Star might be just what Winning needs to finally move on after her messy, drawn-out breakup with longtime beau Russell Wilson.”
Is this the year that the Mariners break their dry spell and finally put a pennant on it? Or will they get cold feet in October and get back with their old flame, Disappointment? Keep it tuned to the Needling Tea Report for the latest.
