After years of hard work and purchasing a small percentage of the Seattle Kraken hockey team to become one of its minority owners, local rapper and native son Macklemore said he’s finally basking in his hard-earned minority status.
“What’s up my G’s? My vatos? You’re looking at the new minority-owner of Sea-Town’s hockey team!” said Macklemore at a private event before his first attempt at a hard R. “We finna go crazy bitch!”
Macklemore later admitted he only bought into the team to get closer to his “brotha,” fellow minority-owner and former Seahawks running back, Marshawn Lynch.
“He said WHAT?” stated Lynch, before hauling ass away from Needling reporters in a souped-up Zamboni.
At press time, most Macklemore fans confirmed they were just glad he’s no longer sporting a Hitler Youth haircut.
