Heeding the call to beef up local mental health resources as the Seattle area enters the thick of rainy post-holiday season during a seemingly never-ending pandemic, King County public health officials announced today that they’re mandating local health insurance providers to fully cover Juanita’s Chips and Beecher’s Mac & Cheese.
“Sure, someday universal healthcare, the end of the pandemic and a little sunlight would be great and we’re going to keep working towards that,” said King County Executive Dow Constantine at a press conference today. “In the short-term, I think we can all agree nothing is going to get us through January 2022 with some semblance of sanity like a giant, salty bag of Juanita’s Chips and a warm bowl of Beecher’s Mac & Cheese. That’s why today, by executive order, I’m mandating all companies offering health insurance locally 100% cover the full cost of their purchase.”
The initiative, dubbed Best Starts for Netflix Binges, went into effect immediately Friday afternoon, cheering up several locals who were about to pay out of pocket for both priceless mental health medications.
“This is definitely a welcome bit of support,” said Megan Richards, who plans to spend the weekend sobbing through the new season of Queer Eye. “I mean, it would be nice if we could just buy it like we used to without literally having to get it from the prescription counter, but whatever. I definitely appreciate our local officials understanding our needs enough to know how much better Beecher’s Mac & Cheese is with some crushed Juanita’s tortilla chips on top.”
At press time Constantine’s office said it was still considering an online petition for the mental health initiative to also cover Full Tilt ice cream and Windy City Pie.
