Feeling left out of the Jan. 6 Capitol Riot anniversary media frenzy, the State of Idaho suddenly announced today that its Capitol building in Boise is fully up for grabs if anyone wants to “bring the storm” or whatever the hot insurrection trend is these days.
“Hm, I’ll think about it,” mumbled Boise-area resident Burton Highsmith who ransacked the nation’s Capitol building last year. “A staycation insurrection might be nice. Who says you have to travel hundreds of miles away to smear your shit on public property for an orange sociopath who doesn’t give two shits about you? Sounds fun, but honestly, I’m probably just gonna stay home until Q tells me what to do next.”
The state was hard-pressed to find any takers from out-of-state as well.
“I mean, I’ll admit I’ve done a little light research on moving to Idaho because the rent and home prices are so high here in Western Washington, but I’m not desperate enough to go over there quite yet,” said Seattle resident Chris Vicks. “On top of being kinda drafty and too much square footage for what we want to maintain long-term, those kinds of buildings always seem to have a nasty Republican infestation the real estate broker never tells you about.”
At press time, one group of would-be Gem State insurrectionists were ultimately deterred by a lack of nearby free parking and wound up trying to take over a nearby post office for processing what they deemed illegal mail-in ballots for Petco’s Cutest Chow Chow of the Year Contest.
