Two of the richest women in the world—divorcees of tech billionaires Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates—announced today that for this year’s season of giving they would be giving away much more than millions of dollars to good causes.
“Giving gobs of money to non-profits dedicated to social justice, ending poverty and disease the last few years has been great and all,” said Bezos’s ex-wife, the usually spotlight-shy MacKenzie Scott in a Medium post. “But have you ever told an over-entitled, workaholic tech bro to go literally go fuck himself? That there isn’t enough money in the world that would make you want to lick his joystick again? It’s pretty nice, so Melinda and I want to empower more women in taking this brave step whether they’re on a first date with a tech douche or decades deep into enabling one of the world’s most economically sociopathic tech magnates.”
After a social media backlash to the initiative spawned the hashtag #NotAllTechBros, Melinda French Gates also published a post online clarifying her joint mission with MacKenzie.
“Look, all we’re saying is that while it’s fun being among the top philanthropists in the world, that pales in comparison to the thrill of turning down a tech bro on Zoom because you need someone a little more interested in touching your bottom line than watching the next video on hustling, bootstrapping and 10Xing your unicorn’s ROI on NFTs,” said French Gates. “What I would give to have back all the years of my life spent acting like Bing was ever any good. Quite frankly, it’s tragic.”
In the name of inclusivity, Melinda and MacKenzie say they’re currently in talks to partner with all exes of Elizabeth Holmes for men at risk of dating tech hos.
