Friends and family of longtime Green Lake swimmer Lloyd Davidson are marveling today at the new, scaled appendage that’s now rippling from his tailbone.
“Oh, my wife and the public health experts exaggerate how bad it is to swim in Green Lake,” said Davidson while itching what was either a gnarly rash or another new appendage coming out of his neck. “I’ve been swimming in Green Lake for weeks and not only am I fine, this weekend an entire golden, finned tail unfurled out of me from just above my ass. Try to beat me in a lap race now, suckers.”
Although some are concerned about what it might mean that he’s apparently mutating into some sort of amphibious creature, Davidson assures everyone he’s fine.
“Since I’ve been swimming in it so consistently, my body’s built an immunity to whatever potentially harmful biological hazards are in there,” Davidson said. “My arms, legs and new tail have never felt stronger.”
Davidson’s Green Lake swimming buddy Hank Brooks said in a few weeks he can also look forward to even better vision.
“It’s like looking through the world through a whole new set of eyes when your face finally gets that third eyeball.”
