Following what appeared to be a bright light quickly dissipating from the ether, Governor Jay Inslee stated a simple televised address to the entire state of Washington today that “everything is back to normal” for seemingly no reason at all.
“It’s a strange thing for him to say,” said Seattle resident Tracey Hall, rubbing weird bright spots out of her eyes. “Of course things are normal! Although now that I think about it, I don’t really remember much that’s happened since February 2020. Hm—must’ve been a boring year.”
After the address, Washingtonians found themselves examining their surroundings, trying to recollect what they were just doing, and wondering why it was so sunny and warm outside all of a sudden.
“After I saw the Governor’s announcement on TV, I walked into my spare bedroom and it looked like someone had set up a home office in there with all of my work stuff spread around the room.” said Columbia City resident Pat Harrison. “Who the fuck has been in my house?”.
At press time, residents across the state were reportedly discovering an assortment of face masks in their coat pockets, glove boxes, backpacks, gym bags, and cars for some reason.
