Witnesses say they were perplexed to see veteran Seattle Monorail operator Charlie Osgood shaking his fist outside its windows today while yelling vows to “work on a train with two tracks someday, ya hear?”
“I thought my girlfriend and I were headed on a short, scenic monorail trip to Seattle Center when all of a sudden the conductor dude said kept saying stuff like ‘I’m no one-track pony, folks!’” said rider Justin Pearson. “At one point he raved ‘Why I oughta be working on a double-track train getting stuck in Rainier Valley street traffic like everybody else on light rail someday, see?’ Just really weird stuff that doesn’t make any sense to anyone.”
Seattle Center Monorail spokeswoman Rachel Krusky said they had no idea Osgood, who’s been operating the transit service since it began during the 1962 World’s Fair, had been experiencing any resentment about being in the same job since forever.
“We don’t really know what got into him today,” said Seattle Monorail spokeswoman Rachel Krusky. “He is more than welcome to apply to Sound Transit or BNSF Railways to expand beyond his single-track, less-than-single-mile train conducting skills.”
At press time, Osgood was still operating the monorail and telling little children leaving the platform “Ya ain’t seen nothin’ yet, see? Someday I’m gonna be makin’ it big-time on the Sounder train to Kent!”
