Although videos of a Tacoma police officer ramming his cruiser through a crowd over the weekend look and sound disturbing, local police union president Chris Tracy wants everyone to understand how much the officer in question was fearing for his SUV’s new paint job.
“Look, every day we’re on the job, we live in fear that one of our new, expensive toys may get scratched,” said Tracy in a statement today. “So when we come to break up a crowd at an illegal car racing event and some people even touch one of our patrol vehicle’s new paint or wax jobs, we’re left with no other choice than to race one of our own cars through a crowd of people who hadn’t even touched our car yet. Many in the unruly mob hadn’t cut their fingernails in a while, and possessed dangerous improvised weapons such as car keys, pens, and wedding rings that posed imminent danger to the integrity of the new coat of paint the police issued cruiser had just received.”
Interim Police Chief Mike Ake provided an update Monday afternoon on the police vehicle harmed in the violent assault on its recently detailed body.
“During the incident, the Tacoma PD vehicle was forcefully lifted off the ground by a human body that had violently thrown itself into the road, but thankfully the tires and suspension are in stable condition,” said Ake, visibly shaken by the damage done to the vehicle. “Unfortunately, the paint still suffered severe lacerations, and it will take considerable amounts of your tax dollars to remove the bits of blood and hair stuck in the grill. I know that the officer involved in this incident took no pleasure in scratching up the undercarriage of his vehicle, and despite being in a metal shell filled with weapons and a radio to call for help, was in much more danger than the person found carelessly tumbling underneath their wheels.”
The Tacoma Police Union also confirmed that the officer acted in accordance with their training, which clearly dictates that the only adequate and just way to de-escalate street racing is attempted vehicular manslaughter.
