The White House descended into chaos today as its supply of buses to throw each other under ran critically low.
“We thought we had enough this morning, but as soon as Department of Transportation’s Elaine Chao quit and threw Chief of Staff Mark Meadows under a double-decker headed to Atlantic City it all went downhill from there,” said White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany right before she was pushed under a bus by Education Secretary Betsy DeVos.
After gaining her composure, DeVos confirmed she would also be resigning today, leaving only one bus left on a first-come-first-serve basis.
“Pompeo’s about to take a trip down under,” said Secretary of Homeland Security Chad Wolf as he cleared out his desk. “I told him we’re just headed to Mar-a-Lago a little earlier than expected and to wait for me out on the lawn like good Hatch Act-breaking, Covid-catching times.”
At press time, Wolf was reportedly being shoved under the last MAGA tour bus by Pompeo and Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin.
