The online dating world was set aflutter today as word spread that one modern-day Casanova has been pre-emptively setting first dates up as ‘recurring meetings.’
“Alejandro cuts to the chase and schedules dates as recurring meetings, because when you Zoom-date with Alejandro, you Zoom-date with the best,” said Alejandro Rosas, lighting several dozen candles within the frame of his laptop camera. “Do you notice how Alejandro was 15 minutes early to our rende-zoom? That is a little joke by Alejandro, I hope it has made you laugh. Do not apologize for running tardy by a mere 20 minutes—beauty such as yours takes a lifetime to cultivate before it can blossom into the grainy, pixelated smile radiating before me. Worry not: Alejandro has purchased a premium account so that I may hear each and every detail of your day without exhausting our 45-minute free account limit.”
While many of Alejandro’s Zoom dates were initially skeptical of his rumored Zoom prowess, they were quickly won over by the narrow view of his immaculate apartment and online chivalry.
“Do not worry—Alejandro is a gentleman and will not ask you to share your screen on the first date,” said Alejandro, tenderly reaching towards the camera. “No, there will be many more Zoom dates to come where we shall explore every intimate detail of each other’s conveniently framed literature collections. Oh, you have noticed my prickly pear cactus creeping into frame? She is much like a beautiful woman such as yourself during COVID-19: complex, yet painfully distant to my touch. But with a patient, steady hand and appropriate lighting, it too can flower, much like our love over the next 10 pre-scheduled Zoom dates.”
Alejandro has reportedly enchanted one special lady so much they’re already scheduled for a romantic weekend getaway to a Tahiti Zoom background.
