Five mostly quarantined months into meditatively mowing through almost every podcast in existence, sources say local holy woman Zahra Princeton has officially ascended to podcast nirvana.
“She was just minutes into the first episode of The Michelle Obama Podcast when it seems she finally crossed into another spiritual plane,” said Tara Hudson as she watched her roommate levitate bathed in golden light. “I just hope one day I can reach a point where I’ve also listened to every episode of 1619, Brene Brown’s Unlocked, and Why Won’t You Date Me? with Nicole Byer.”
Princeton’s spiritual quest through the podcast universe began more than a decade ago with classic storytelling shows like This American Life, Snap Judgment and Radio Lab before gradually meandering into the abysses of You Made It Weird, WTF with Marc Maron, and How Did This Get Made?
“At first, I didn’t think she’d make it because she was dating someone consumed with the dark forces of the Joe Rogan Experience,” Hudson said. “When he refused to wear face masks at all because Rogan told listeners they were for pussies, she finally came to her senses by dumping him and kindly replacing him with Conan Needs a Friend.”
Hudson says that when Princeton descended back to Earth with a new glow to her cheeks, she also returned with stone-tablet engraved commandments including thou shalt not clean thy house without listening to podcast, though shalt create offline podcast playlist before any long drive, and thou shalt not speak unto me when my headphones are in.
