Seattle’s newest vainglorious attraction, the Seattle Selfie Museum, announced today that it’s unsheathing its latest interactive exhibition this week just in time for Valentine’s Day: The Tasteful Dick Pic Gallery, funded by the Jeff Bezos Endowment.
“For all our Romeos out there, we’ve created several sexy photo-ops for that picture-perfect schlong snapshot that’s sure to woo your Juliet this Valentine’s Day,” said exhibit designer Steve Grossman. “For traditionalists, we’ve got the filthy, speckled bathroom mirror, because the classics never go out of style. Over here you can slap your dong on top of this fruit bowl to show your boo you’re ‘top banana’ in this bunch. Oh, and this one is a real fan favorite: Our industrial floor fan will help you get that spinning helicopter action shot the ladies just love. Valentine’s Day always creates some stiff competition to court local romantics for their date night, but we’re excited to say that ticket sales are already rock-solid.”
But some critics have taken issue with the Selfie Museum’s latest exhibit, stating that it’s just taking society’s rampant narcissism to new heights.
“See, this is what’s wrong with Millennials – these entitled, self-obsessed brats who wouldn’t know romance if it hit them over the head,” said Todd Bedford, stopping for an interview while shopping at Pike Place Market. “Back in my day, if I wanted to woo a lady, I’d have to risk arrest walking around all night in a trenchcoat waiting for the right moment to flash a vulnerable, young woman. But these spoiled kids can just send their newfangled ‘dick pics’ to the whole town any time they want without consequence. Where’s the work ethic? A woman once found me so irresistible she had to get a restraining order just to contain her lust for me. It’s in effect to this very day. Now that’s romance, kid.”
The Tasteful Dick Pic Gallery replaces the short-lived Georgia O’Keefe Wing, which was quickly shuttered after it made two men mildly uncomfortable.
