Seattle’s favorite greasy spoon since 1954 and home of the 12-egg omelet, Beth’s Café, proudly announced today that it had reached its 10,000th customer heart attack.
The achievement is a record-breaking milestone long coveted by 24-hour breakfast food diners nationwide.
“When the winner went down to the floor on one knee, we thought it was just another sissy with heartburn from our full plate of hash browns,” said Manager Gus Weaver. “But, much to our delight, a minute later he collapsed to the floor and went into full cardiac arrest. That’s when we started popping the champagne bottles!”
In addition to his meal being on the house, the heart attack victim was also given a free T-shirt and 50% off coupons for everyone who attends his open heart surgery and/or wake this weekend.
Weaver says the work of seven-year-old Stacey Higgins, who stopped mid maple syrup pour to capture the historic moment in crayon, has already been framed and added to the restaurant’s prized Heart Attack Hall of Fame Wall. But the diner’s Hall-of-Fame ambitions don’t end there, he said.
“Oh, we’ve got a whole other set of Hall of Fame walls in back waiting for us to reach our 10,000th Heimlich, 10,000th diabetic shock, and 10,000th customer slapped for requesting anything gluten or dairy free.”
