Today Fish & Wildlife declared Pickleball Season open in Seattle due to the population of new courts taking over the Fremont Theo Chocolate Factory, an Interbay tiny house village and the Ballard Joann’s Fabrics getting out-of-hand.
“These three separate facilities about to be born barely even two miles away from each other are putting local bunnies to shame—something has to be done,” said Fish & Wildlife biologist Hank Stephens as he nailed a “Pickleball Season” sign to a tree. “That’s not even counting new picklball court facilities in Mt. Baker, SoDo, Magnuson Park, Bellevue, Lynnwood and Poulsbo or how many courts at parks and schools are tennis/pickleball hybrids now. When you feel like too many pickleball courts are taking over your neighborhood, just remember the humane thing to do is try dropping either a piano or anvil on top of them.”
Not everyone agrees it’s Pickleball Season, though.
“Killjoy Season!” Yelled one pickleballer stapling a sign saying the same thing over the “Pickleball Season” signs. “Seattle needs more dense, walkable pickleballing communities, and we’re not going to let you pickleball killjoys ruin it the way you ruined Lincoln Park’s pickleball court plan.”
At press time, Fish & Wildlife also recommended that if you can’t beat the pickleball courts, join them.
