As Seattle gathered for its Super Bowl Parade Wednesday morning, onlookers gasped as President Donald Trump flew over the Emerald City demanding that the Seahawks surrender their Lombardi trophy to him.
“I’ll get you my lefties, and your little trophy too!” Trump cackled atop a flying broomstick writing the words “Surrender Lombardi” in the sky over the Space Needle. “The real winner of the Super Bowl wasn’t the Seahawks or the Patriots—it was me for watching and somehow surviving the Bad Bunny Half Time show. Just like I earned the Nobel AND FIFA Peace Prize, the Lombardi should also be all mine! Give it to me now or instead I’ll take Green Lake.”
Meanwhile Seahawks players below hung on tight to the Super Bowl trophy as 12s got a chance to gaze upon its sparkling grandeur.
“If he dares get close to the Lombardi, we’ve got buckets of water at the ready to melt all the orange makeup off his face and hands,” said Seahawks Coach Mike Macdonald. “We’ve got our own MOB mentality too if he really wants to mess with us, but I wouldn’t underestimate the power of the Dark Side.”
To the relief of parade-goers, Trump eventually flew off without the trophy reportedly in pursuit of an Olympic gold medal someone says has his name on it if he just gives Big Air Snowboarding a try.
