Overgrown thorned blackberry bushes magically receded as a Skittle rainbow stretched over the city of Seattle, confirming the Seahawks Super Bowl curse was broken overnight and Beast Mode had finally been avenged.
“Skittles raining from the sky?! Why, this hasn’t happened since Marshawn Lynch threw the blessed sucrose sacrament in my face from a Ride the Duck boat in a 2014 Super Bowl parade,” said Seahawk fan Ryan Olafson. “At last! The curse of the worst play call in history has been broken and Beast Mode has been avenged.”
Beast Mode confirmed the lifting of the curse himself as his visage rolled in on a cloud of weed smoke over Lumen Field.
“Seattle, you have remembered who you are by remembering and avenging me–taste the sweet victory,” Beast Mode said as a born-again baptismal rainbow font of Skittles poured upon Seattle. “Go forth and win the World Series next.”
At press time, Russell Wilson was reportedly wondering why he was still cursed.
