Admitting it’s left them on read after winning the Super Bowl on Sunday, today Seattle confessed it’s begun ghosting the Nation by acting weird ahead of Valentine’s Day.
“We had a lot of fun hanging out with the Nation as the Seahawks headed for and ultimately won the Super Bowl, but I hope they understand it’s over without us having to tell them anything,” said Seattle, sighing as it ignored more incoming text notifications. “We already responded ‘k’ to Boston and San Francisco after they both texted to see if we wanted to keep up a little Heated Rivalry into this weekend. We ignored all the follow-up texts to make plans. Can’t they tell? We did not care.”
One city said Seattle always does this ahead of Valentine’s Day, and they always come crawling back.
“They’re just pretending they don’t like the rest of us to get a little space after we spent a little too much time during football season together,” said New York. “Trust me, they want the Mariners to win the World Series and the Sonics back so, as soon as spring training later this month, they’ll be texting us ‘hey.’”
At press time, although Seattle still hadn’t texted back about what they are or aren’t doing this weekend, it was reportedly still infuriatingly checking the Nation’s Instagram stories for any signs they already miss them.
