One lone naked cyclist was seen rolling through Fremont today wondering where everyone is for Solstice.
“Wait, did Solstice start on the 20th this year—or?” asked the naked cyclist as people bundled up in smartwool, puffies and rain jackets strolled by with $15 cookies from the Fremont Sunday Market. “It’s my first time, I’m a transplant and I’m just trying to take part in the city’s traditions—maybe I’m just early? Hoping to get moving with everyone soon because it’s rainy and 48 degrees just like it was on summer Solstice.”
The cyclist was seen then entering the Fremont Sunday Market looking for body-painting stations to no avail.
“I get everyone wanting to get a bite to eat and some grocery shopping done before the parade but I’m surprised more people aren’t trying to nab a good seat on the route yet,” the cyclist said as they realized maybe the naked bike ride wasn’t happening at all. “Wow, first they try to take away the nude beach and now they’re taking the naked Winter Solstice ride – those bastards.”
After The Needling watched him ride around helplessly like an idiot for an hour without saying anything, a nearby killjoy finally told him the naked solstice bike ride is only for summer solstice, but he’s welcome to join the Alki Beach Polar Plunge naked on New Year’s Day, to which the cyclist replied “oh no, fuck that.”
