Several reports are confirming that, once again, the wrong person has died.
“If you were hoping that if anyone died today that it would be the day the right person died, sorry, today is not that day,” said medical examiner Ross Hawn. “Unfortunately, once again, the exact wrong person has died instead of the one most would agree is the super-right one to die.”
As news spread that Death got it wrong all over again, people across the world expressed their sadness and confusion about why it can’t simply do things the other way around.
“No, not that one! Death, I know you usually get a lot of hate just for doing your job, but would it kill you to ever do your job right?” asked local woman Lisa Hampton. “Why do you always get the wrong person? You know how much we’d love you if you just got the correct one?”
At press time, people were hoping it’s not too inconceivable that Death redeems itself soon by asking the far more right person to prepare to die as they wish.
