According to prematurely leaked video of them staying late one night at the White House, Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz recently experienced a late-life sexual awakening together while playing doctor.
“For some reason, playing pretend doctor is so much more fun with you than it ever was with Oprah,” said a coy Dr. Phil as he rubbed his round belly with one hand and shook a bottle of Tylenol with the other. “How’s that workin’ for ya? Come on, slap these painkillers out of my hand—I’ve been a bad pregnant lady.”
Wearing only a white lab coat and stethoscope, video then shows Dr. Oz appearing from behind a green curtain.
“You don’t need Tylenol or that belly, baby—you’ve got a fever and the only prescription is more injections of my OzMmDic,” said Dr. Oz as his hand tenderly caressed Dr. Phil’s bald head. “Or does my favorite fake doctor need some brain first? Everything’s better with extra protein.”
No further details were available on what happened after Dr. Phil giddily ran away telling Dr. Oz to “catch me outside,” even though RFK Jr. reportedly watched it all from a window while playing doctor with himself and a bottle of colloidal silver lube.
