Today Sound Transit announced yet another delay in connecting Seattle’s light rail to the Eastside after the I-90 Bridge Troll asked a particularly challenging riddle.
“Usually it’s basically some dumb dad joke like ‘What runs but never walks, has a mouth but never talks, has a bed but never sleeps, has a head but never weeps?’” said light rail track engineer Sam Beasley. “But today he asked, what reduces traffic jams, attracts more employers and boosts the local economy? We kept saying it’s light rail and better public transit, but he just kept demanding that wasn’t the answer, so we’re totally stumped.”
Some have posited, however incorrect, that the answer the troll wants to hear is more parking garages, traffic lanes and troll tolls.
“That’s probably what he wants to hear, but then what comes after that? More delays as he asks increasingly annoying questions like ‘Don’t only poors use and benefit from public transit?’” Beasley said. “Let’s get real: He’s not gonna stop asking dumb questions like this until we build another giant Eastside parking garage.”
At press time, Sound Transit CEO Dow Constantine said he was confident light rail over Lake Washington would be right back on track as soon they build just one more 1,000-space parking garage in Bellevue.
