After applying to more than 300 jobs over the last six months, it’s being reported that graphic designer Garret Keyson has finally found the end of LinkedIn.
“For months, I spent every morning on LinkedIn desperately searching for anything to apply for,” Garret told reporters. “Then suddenly this week, after I reluctantly hit Easy Apply for a design job paying half the market rate at a non-profit focused on supporting people with knitting addictions, LinkedIn refreshed to a single page with a frowny face that said ‘You’ve reached the end of LinkedIn and your career.’”
LinkedIn’s Head of Careers affirmed that job hunters can reach the end of LinkedIn when the algorithm determines that the job hunter has given up on their dreams.
“After years of research tracking the behavior of the chronically unemployed, LinkedIn decided it was time to pull the plug on members who had given up their standards for fulfilling employment,” LinkedIn’s Head of Careers, Jazlyn Charity, clarified in a statement. “LinkedIn’s proprietary algorithm watches for signs of desperation like applying to religious organizations, AI startups, or any job at Amazon.”
As the economy continues to contract, economists estimate certain job seekers are more likely to reach the end of LinkedIn: graphic designers, writers, photographers, recruiters, and anyone who thinks they should be paid a fair salary with benefits.
