In an unprecedented advancement of smartphone technology, today one local man’s dick pic text autocorrected an eggplant emoji to a carrot.
“What the fuck? I didn’t ask for this,” said the man as he turned autocorrect off in settings. “Oh God, now spellcheck’s underlining the eggplant emoji and suggesting I instead use either the earthworm, shrimp or peanut.”
The man said he became increasingly concerned about what his phone is now capable of after turning off both autocorrect and spellcheck.
“Why is the only emoji here now a stump?” said the man racing to see if he could revert his phone’s latest software update to no avail. “Please! I swear I’ll never use the eggplant emoji again! Corn okay? Please at least allow me the banana!”
At press time, the only other emoji the phone would allow the man to add was the red spotted mushroom.
