In the wake of a viral interview quoting him as loving RFK Jr., Seattle residents once again gathered at an official press conference this afternoon to remind the nation that Chris Pratt is from Lake Stevens, not Seattle.
“Referring to Pratt as being from Seattle or even the Seattle area is unacceptable and offensive,” said Seattle City Councilmember Alexis Mercedes Rinck flanked by a bipartisan support. “We kindly request that when national media talk about yet another round of stupid things Pratt’s said lately, you keep our city’s name out your goddamn mouth.”
Today’s press conference marks at least the third time the city had to come together to protect its reputation by making it clear Pratt is from a place most Seattleites have never been and certainly never will be.
“We first had to do it when he announced he was part of a homophobic evangelical church,” said Seattle resident Ethan Crow. “Then there was the time he attacked subtitles—abominable. We couldn’t even bring ourselves to even talk about his demolition of a historic home in LA—an attack on historic building anywhere is an attack on historic building everywhere. But I suppose this is what we get for committing the sin of once letting people think he was one of our own during Parks and Rec days—big mistake we’ll be paying for forever.”
At press time, local officials confirmed they had no problem, however, with national media saying Anna Faris is from Seattle.
