As sailors disembarked their ships for Fleet Week in Seattle after months at sea, Grindr immediately crashed, initiating a call for emergency hookup networks.
“I only have a few days in Seattle before I am back to the same old guys I see every day on the USS Somerset,” a sailor who requested to remain anonymous told reporters. “I was looking forward to posting a headless torso ‘just visiting’ pic to reel in some DL no strings hook-ups, but now I worry I won’t find anywhere to cast my anchor.”
Seattle’s typically busy Fleet Week twinks were quick to find a solution.
“Like most twinks, I know how to prep for unexpected scenarios, so when I heard Grindr was down I notified my twink emergency network and got to work,” Tucker Smithson told reporters. “We quickly formed a flier brigade to spread the word about a pop-up dark room in an undisclosed location, only to be revealed to sailors who Whatsapped a photo of their sailor hat (if you know what I mean).”
As a long line of men gathered outside a SoDo warehouse, Seattle’s Office of Emergency Management applauded Seattle’s twinks for prepping for whatever may come.
