Just a day after his unexpectedly humorous National Baseball Hall of Fame induction speech, Mariners legend Ichiro Suzuki somehow already has an hourlong standup special up on Netflix.
“I always knew the guy was quick and still is, but holy fuck,” said local baseball fan Greg Ricks as he turned on the special dubbed “Ichiro Dreams of Turning Critics Into Sushi.” “I don’t think anyone was expecting his comedy career to extend past that one jab he made in Cooperstown at the one sports writer who kept his Hall of Fame induction vote from being completely unanimous but apparently he’s got a longer list of people to publicly roast.”
That is apparently why Netflix CEO Ted Sarandos signed Ichiro immediately after the Hall of Fame Induction ceremony.
“He’s already performing better than anyone at the Tom Brady roast and he’s definitely doing better than HBO’s Terry Bradshaw standup special—good God why did they ever do a Terry Bradshaw special?” said Sarandos. “Of course we immediately got the rights to Ben Gibbard’s ‘Ichiro’s Theme’ for it and having Rick Rizzs introduce him onstage is obviously perfection. Anyway, for the fourth time, he is Rookie of the Year.”
By Monday night, Ichiro had already been poached by Hulu for a second standup special even though he’d never even heard of them before.
