In a twist of the knife after successfully getting his top-ranked late-night show cancelled, President Donald Trump is reportedly also already rebooting cult comedy classic ‘Strangers with Candy’ at a local elementary school parking lot without original cast member Stephen Colbert.
“When I found out he was also known for a show with that incredible name I said, ‘Hold my little black book—nobody plays a better Stranger with Candy than Donald J. Trump,” said Trump while waiting for school to get out. “What are even Stephen Colbert’s numbers on how many minors he’s successfully lured into an unmarked van? Probably not even 500. Sad!”
In between filming attempts to interest several young girls in candy, a ride home from school or a long vacation to Florida, Trump sounded confident the show would garner bigger ratings than ever before.
“Always thought ‘Strangers with Candy’ was a great show concept that could only fail in the hands of someone like Stephen Colbert—I heard the ratings were terrible,” Trump said. “He’s going to be so jealous when he sees me on set with my castmate Amy Coney Barrett. Retire, Stephen – your services on the curbs of Lincoln Elementary are no longer needed.”
At press time, NBC was already reaching out to Trump for a potential crossover episode with their reboot of To Catch a Predator.
