Surprised to see progressive names like Teresa Mosqueda, Pramila Jayapal and Claudia Balducci openly supporting the re-election of a man repeatedly credibly accused of corruption, sexism and violence, today progressive Seattle voters just wanted to check in and ask Bruce Harrell endorsers to blink twice if they need help.
“Heyyy, Teresa, how ya doin’? Saw you recently endorsed someone everyone kinda thought you didn’t like to say the least, especially since he’s tried so hard to dismantle and raid the JumpStart tax, one of your biggest legislative successes while you were on the Seattle City Council,” said Laura Miller on a visit to Mosqueda’s King County Council office. “Pretty weird! Kinda seemed like a good time to instead support a progressive woman for mayor like Katie Wilson, especially since the latest polls have her ahead of Harrell and she has a very real shot at winning. But to each their own! And, um, just blink twice if you need help.”
Voters fanned out to do an in-person wellness check on several others unexpectedly on Harrell’s endorsement list too including Jayapal.
“Look, we just wanted to make sure you only endorsed Harrell because you know he’d be a million times more petty and vindictive to you no matter the cost to so many others if you didn’t and that Katie Wilson would never act like that whether you endorsed her or not,” said voter Gloria Alvarez while stopping by Jayapal’s office. “Just making sure you’re only doing that strategic and practical thing everyone loves so much about Democrats these days where you throw your spine and integrity in the garbage for someone as low as Seattle’s equivalent of Andrew Cuomo if it was remotely the more professionally convenient option. But if it’s not—if you’ve accidentally ever ‘taken’ a parking space from Harrell—just blink twice and we’ll call in a rescue.”
At press time, all of Harrell’s loyal endorsers were reportedly celebrating together at a Seattle Police Department pizza party.
