The Trump administration confirmed today that it is investigating everyone on the WSDOT social media and comms team for their alleged ties to MS Paint.
“The proof is right there in plain all caps Arial font on this photo of one of their hands where ‘MS PAINT’ is spelled out and everything right over knuckle tattoos of a traffic cone, a car that looks like it was drawn by either a 5-year-old or Elon, Taylor Swift in a construction workers outfit teasing a new album and a baseball bat,” said President Trump to reporters today. “We’ve discovered several MS Paint maps on their computers clearly indicating a plot to seize the entire state of Washington in orange and yellow-vested uniforms, which I have to assume are their gang colors.”
WSDOT employees say claims of their ties to MS Paint are completely unfounded though.
“We only use Snipping Tool—MS Paint is way too scary and hardcore for us and always has been,” said WSDOT social media manager Rachel Terlep, as she lifted a shirt sleeve exposing a tattoo of a scissor, circle of thread and what looks like three raindrops. “See? Got my Snip Snip Drip Drip tat right here.”
At press time, Rachel cut our interview short because she had an appointment to get a tattoo of a fourth raindrop.
