Today local 24-dog-year-old golden retriever Harvey proudly announced to his friends and family that he is pansexual.
“I am coming out as pansexual to everyone I know and love because it is time people and dogs know me for who I truly am – a lover and humper of all genders, sexual orientations, breeds, and when the mood strikes, pillows and blankets,” Harvey announced in a social media post. “I am attracted to confidence, the swagger of a tail, a goldendoodle’s willingness to chase or be chased, and most importantly, their desire to go to pound town with me. I hope you will love me for who I am, especially if you’re a curious chihuahua who can meet me at Cal Anderson at noon tomorrow.”
Harvey’s owner and best friend, Joey Spiglioni, immediately celebrated and supported Harvey’s courage.
“I am incredibly proud of Harvey for his bravery and love him unconditionally,” Spiglioni celebrated. “Frankly, I have been waiting for Harvey to come out for a while now. It was clear to me he was special, especially after catching him in a threesome at the dog park with Wendell, a dom top English spaniel, and Lulu the husky with eyelashes from here to heaven. And don’t get me started about his relationship with his fluffy blanket. I wouldn’t be surprised if they got married.”
At press time, Harvey was spotted at the park sniffing the butt of a gender non-conforming dog named Bailey, while a pair of chihuahuas fought for his attention.
