Today the Kennedy Center amended their summer programming calendar to incorporate a full hour and a half of Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s scratchy, trilled scat singing.
“What can I say? I’m in my Ella Fitzgerald era,” shared the United States Secretary of Health and Human Services before gargling concentrated ammonia to maintain his characteristic rasp. “I’m really getting into Anita O’Day, her playfulness is an inspiration. And when I really want to swing, I turn to Sarah Vaughan. I guess you could say I’m one hep cat inspired by the greats. That’s a quote you can use, Daddy-O. And the best part is, just like many of my views on healthcare, I get to make it all up! It’s called improv, baby. And that is real jazz. SKITLI-aght-li-AHK-bAGH-dAGHp-baaAKKK KKKAH KKKAH.”
Jason Moran, the Kennedy Center’s current Artistic Director for Jazz, has shared the intricacies in accommodating this additional performance into the schedule.
“We’re delighted to add RFK Jr. to the summer lineup, which was no easy feat after shoehorning in the Kid Rock Jazz Quintet,” said Moran while adjusting his mandatory MAGA hat. “Our audience will love the changes we’re making. We have the Art Ensemble of Mar-a-Lago dropping in, plus an intimate evening of Karoline Leavitt solo on the recorder. But RFK Jr.’s hoarse, quavering scat performance is shaping up to be a highlight. He also has a powerful, extended encore of ‘Strange Fruit’ that I can’t wait for you to hear. This should go off without a hitch, just like all endeavors historically tied to the Kennedy family.”
RFK Jr.’s strained, tremulous stylings will soon be available to music-lovers everywhere with the fall release of his vocal jazz album, Throat Spasms in B Flat.
